Hate-Track Tapes

Did you know that cassette tapes came out before 8-track tapes? I feel like that’s what’s happening with racism, homophobia, and sexism today. Like, everyone knows there’s a better way, but there are still a bunch assholes cruising around in old, beat-up, rusted-out, shitty Trans Ams, and they’re jamming matchbooks into the deck, so their REO Speedwagon cartridge stops playing Keep On Lovin’ You and Can’t Fight This Feelin’ at the same time. Over the incoherent, distorted music, they openly shout about how they refuse to be forced to use cassette tapes because “Freedom” or some shit, like they think cassette tapes are the Antichrist or something. Meanwhile, it’s 2020, some of us don’t even know what the hell an 8-Track is, or a cassette tape, for that matter, and, by some stroke of absurdly shitty luck, we still have to watch these ignorant dicks obnoxiously swerve down the road with dumpster-fire-smoke billowing out of their tail pipes, while we think to ourselves, “Hasn’t this jackass ever heard of iTunes or Spotify?” Christ, I think we’d even settle for CD’s at this point. 

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s