Thoughts From Inside A Crumbling Society Vol. III

I’ll have the literacy with extra cheese and pepperoni.

If they made retro Pizza Huts with red cups, jukeboxes, a couple of video games, and the pizza buffet and did Book It promotions for adults, it would change the world.

Back then, the red cup was still only half-full, but there were refills in the pitchers.

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I think we are developed enough as a country, nay as a species, to ban the manufacturing of single-ply, printer-paper-hard toilet paper. It’s time.

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Thinking about how much different The Beatles song, A Day in the Life, would be if it were written today.

“I read the news today. Oh, fuck!”

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When I run out of ridiculous shit to write about, I just read the news. 

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PSA There’s a video of Cardi B explaining how to clean your butt. I’m not suggesting you watch it or do what she says because I’m a believer in “For external use only” warnings, but I think it’s vital to know it’s out there. Teach your kids how to clean their butts, or Cardi B will.

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Some days, I think, when am I going to stop screwing around with all of these other foods and just eat garlic bread exclusively? I’m tired of living this lie.

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Sunday could be the best day of the week if we were better at compartmentalizing. 

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It’s all fun and games until reality gets broken. 

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I’m always impressed by how easy it is for really stupid people to quickly break down and simplify a complex issue that they couldn’t possibly understand. It’s like they don’t even have to think about it at all.

Simple people think everything is simple.

Thanks for making it make sense for the rest of us average individuals by throwing out absurdly cliche sayings. I guess it really is what it is. Thank you, genius.

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Some people use public restroom toilet seat covers to protect themselves. Some should clearly be using them to protect the toilet. 

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Not being able to go into a Blockbuster Video on a Friday night still doesn’t sit well with me.

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This is America! *Everyone is innocent until proven guilty.

*excludes people with opposing political, societal, & religious views

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Look, I don’t care if people are ignorant pieces of shit in the privacy of their own home, but I don’t need it thrown in my face constantly on TV & Facebook. I mean, what am I supposed to say to my kid when she sees you being a stupid bigot?

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Just saw a post where a person got shit on for openly engaging in conversations & listening to all sides of issues without condemning any of them so that people could hear all of the info & form their own opinions. It was the internetiest.

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It’s very confusing that people are willing to give certain people who they do not know the benefit of the doubt over people they know well.

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I love when we try to discredit something, and we start with, “I just don’t understand…” As if our inability to comprehend it makes it impossible. Maybe we’re just dumb. 

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I follow the strict ideology of a particular political party, so I really don’t have to think or be rational. I just consult the manual with the rest of the mob.

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Had you read more SciFi, you know how predictably people are behaving. 

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The most encouraging part of all the horrific news I’ve read today is that we must be getting closer to the end.

-The power of positivity.

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The best part of being wrong is finding all of the people online who agree with you.

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Ugh! Really? People actually still believe in stuff? How exhausting! I mean, why?

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Ugh! People are still saying things to other people? I thought we made the internet so we didn’t have to do that anymore. 

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Looking into this “Freedom” stuff, and there’s a hell of a lot of paperwork and fine print.

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One of my favorite things about social media is that while we have as much time as we’d like to think and form a response, most of us still just type the first dumb thing that comes to our minds.

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The weirdest thing you could ever wish to be is “normal.”

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I’m not sighing. You’re sighing.

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If our faces were honest, we’d all have RBF.

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 If you’re not in a good mood today, it may be due to the fact that children’s movies gave all of us very unrealistic expectations of the exciting and fun relationships people have with their pets. 

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In your youth, you think a lot about how unfair life is. As an adult, you realize just how right you were. Then you get a pimple inside your nose.

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Sometimes it’s nice to wake up an hour before your alarm clock goes off, so you can just lie there and think about stuff.

-No One Ever

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So many arguments really come down to one or more people choosing to exercise their right to be complete fucking assholes. 

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Me: (shakes phone) OK, Facebook, are we living in fear today or not letting fear control us?

Facebook: Reply hazy. Try again.

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Humanity could be such a beautiful thing if it weren’t for all the humans.

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I find it fascinating that people feel the need to specify it as “doom scrolling, ” as if there’s any other kind of scrolling.

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Hell is trying to be happy.

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Ever mention how people are so stupid and have someone else be like, “OMFG, YES!” then they rattle off a list of things stupid people do, and you do every one of them, and you think, “this person is so stupid?”

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America would benefit from a more rewards-based system. Like, “Wow! You didn’t kill anyone today. Here’s some pie. Don’t forget, if you can make it the whole year, you get an extra week of vacation!”

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Reading actual literature is the vaccine for our societal ills. Unfortunately, some of those who need it most refuse to get it.

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Do you ever think about how much simpler life would be if you could make other people’s heads explode with your mind?

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We’re probably all just being punished for picking our noses in the shower.

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I read that in order to be successful, you sometimes just need to redefine success.

Binging Sci-Fi shows, eating snacks, and napping is now success. You’re welcome.

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No matter how shitty things are going for you, never forget to take a few moments out of your crappy life to criticize others for trying to do something with theirs. 

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Familiarity breeds contempt. We should all try not talking to each other.

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If you’ve enjoyed these thoughts, be sure to check out the first two installments of Thoughts From Inside A Crumbling Society by clicking below.