Teach Your Children… Well!

I want to teach my daughter to be a free thinker, to question authority, to be self-actualized and independent. I also want her to brush her teeth and go to F$@&ING BED at 7:30.

I think when I say to her, “Ari, I’ve read you 6 books, you had two glasses of milk, we rocked in your chair for a half-hour, and I rubbed your back for 15 minutes and your belly for 20. It’s time to go to bed.”

And she responds by screaming intensely, shouting demonic incantations and many other things I may never understand, what she’s really saying is, “What is “time” anyway, Daddy? Is it not simply a man-made construct designed to dampen our experience and control us? Let’s go for a ride in the car.”