Bank: Why don’t you let me hold onto your money for you? You: Um... Why would I do that? Bank: Well, so I can charge you to do it, of course! You: Wait, what? What are you going to do with my money? Bank: I’m going to invest it and make lots of money with [...]
“You do you,” is a fitting cliché for an apathetic era of humans without the wherewithal to understand how we affect each other. But it does sound a lot more polite than “Go fuck yourself.” Though the latter does seem more accurate. When the truth defied our opinions, we allowed our opinions to define the [...]
Our culture has monetized basic human needs. We have been forced to define happiness for ourselves in such a way that it is now not only unachievable, it is unimaginable as well. Even when confronted with the appearance of happiness in others, our only reaction is suspicion. For most, our greatest common bonds are begrudging those who we feel may be happier than ourselves and choosing to be completely oblivious to whatever happiness we should have for the things we’ve achieved; the happiness we already own. I can’t imagine it was ever intended to be a relative term.
The way we are now; surrounded by what we’ve created, I think Mick got it right. Regardless of how satisfied we should feel, we’ll never get no satisfaction. Our whites could always be whiter. Our cigarettes, manlier. You see, we’re on a losing streak.
All of our heroes were flawed. Upon this realization, we were slighted by our broken, self-invented promises of their perfection, and, even before that, by the unrelatable nature of it. We began to champion villains. We became what we revered. The openly vile are anything but disappointing and everything but unrelatable.
Hey guys, go ahead and hang the toilet paper any way you want, buy it all up, order a steak well done and put ketchup on it, double-dip your chips, use than and then like they are interchangeable—your and you’re and there, their, and they’re, too or to if you prefer, and leave your grocery [...]