On Ari’s 3rd Birthday
It’s no more about how you play the game than it is winning or losing. It’s just random, uncontrollable, chaotic moments, some better than others. String a few of those better ones together and you’ve got yourself a “good” life, and still, probably one for which you will be eternally and unjustifiably ungrateful more often than not. You’ll inevitably be more gracious in flourishes of fortune. You’ll probably be at your worst in times of unsatisfied desperation. You’ll find appreciation for that which you’ve casually left aside when you regretfully find a need for it and it is no longer at your, once aloof, fingertips. You’ll be most accommodating when you have something to gain. You will be anxious about everything, above all, death. You’ll do your best to be above these things, sometimes your decency will persevere, other times it won’t. There will only be certainty in imperfection, but there is also beauty in it. You will need to forgive yourself. At times you will not be able to. You’ll learn humility. You’ll be ecstatic and morose and sometimes both. You will laugh. You’ll care deeply about things you cannot express, but will have no issue expressing grand swings of emotion for things which you couldn’t care less. You will cry. Then, someday, when it is very quiet and these perils and triumphs subside, you will miss each separate moment.
And every second of it, you will be loved.