The Great American Drive-Thru

“That will be $600.00. Please drive around.”

Joseph D. Newcomer

“Welcome to America. Can I take your order?”

“Um, yeah, I’ll take the truth and a side of compassion.”

“Sorry, we’re all out of those, but we do have a ton of bullshit opinions and conjecture. Don’t worry though, it’s like the same thing at this point, anyway.”

“Can I add bacon to that?”

“Sorry, no substitutions.”

“But what about freedom?”

“You have the freedom to choose if you want to eat or not.”

“Uh, okay, I guess. Do you guys have Coke or Pepsi?”

“We only carry Flint, MI tap water. Would you like that Super-sized?”

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